Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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