so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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