He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
