I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
