my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
