Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
