yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
3pm strippers are depressing
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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