I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
