You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
