giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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