mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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