Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize