Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
