We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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