Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
