Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize