only if we run a train.
done.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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