Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
