also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
