Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
someone owes me an orgasm
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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