Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
