I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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