That's intense
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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