I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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