Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
