Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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