There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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