YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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