i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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