And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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