Porn is love you can see.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
