i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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