he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
