dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
