Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No subtext here. People are naked.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
