I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
honey bunches of taint.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
