Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
