Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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