i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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