Porn is love you can see.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
