your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
