smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
