i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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