I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
