Whod you bang
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
