I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
