i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize