Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize