I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
