Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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