i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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