I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
