What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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