Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
