now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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