do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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