Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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