Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
