Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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