Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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