If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
