he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
