u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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