No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize