He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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