too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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