I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
a search helicopter?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
