I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
