I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
