Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
