I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
