I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
