If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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