he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
