I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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