I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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