We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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