you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
