Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
