I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
