I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
