Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
