okay pat passed out under dana's car
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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